Work for both is beyond crazy. I'm prepping for my evening side work of cutting and tying mass amounts of holiday ribbon with a glass of vino. There is a tree to put up, preferably when we are in a more energetic and festive spirit so that is put off for another day or so. There is a mild, craziness-induced food funk to spin out of (wouldn't it just be easier to eat out for the next three weeks until it's over??). A mild food funk which I'm working on tonight by giving T inspiration and letting him ride the wave...more on that below. And some shopping and household planning to do.
Holiday shopping?
Nope.
Kitty shopping!
Well, not shopping for a kitty exactly, but shopping for the kitty. To adequately supply ourselves to bring her home, to our home, which makes our home more of a home.
What's been a'brewin' around here is that we're adopting a beautiful 8-month-old kitten. Katelyn, one of my lovely co-workers is moving at the end of the month (tomorrow!) and has to be minus said little black kitten by then. And is graciously allowing us to bring her into our fold of rascally rapscallions.
Yep...we've taken on one Moe Marek.
I've been talking about it with Katelyn -- and Terry -- for weeks. We've been hedging and hemming and hawing all month long. Even with the mouse population expanding (we're up to 30+ captures in the past 2-3 weeks) and the potential mouse-aversion-related-perks having a cat could affect, we couldn't make a decision.
I realize now that we couldn't decide because we kept focusing on the negative, what introducing a kitty into our lives would cost us -- physically, mentally, financially. What we didn't account for was the benefits.
We were dependent on choosing with our heads, not our hearts.
When Katelyn brought the kitty over last night for a visit -- I think as much for her to feel comfortable with the home we could provide as much as for us to see how the kitty might get along with Trooper, and us, we melted. OK, I'll speak for myself (T has a reputation as a non-cat preferrer to protect) -- I melted. The moment she crawled into my arms I was had.
And what struck me in that moment was that I kept saying no to a new member of our family because I was too afraid to open my heart.
It's the same thing that kept my mom saying she would never have another dog when she had to put her last one down a couple years ago.
She adopted a puppy this past summer.
It's the same thing that kept me from ever inviting another cat into my life after my furry childhood chum died of cancer -- the morning after I told her she didn't need to hold on any longer, that I would be OK -- nearly 20 years ago.
Until now. I guess I'm a little slower on the uptake...
How can I be so unafraid of my own death and so devastated by the thought of the mortality of those around me?
So much so that I didn't want to open my home or my heart to another living being. Not another one. Not now with the only other animal companion I've ever had turning 13 years old and nearing the inevitable end of her life (but, come on, aren't we all??).
Aren't I just asking for trouble?
Until I held the kitty in my arms and felt how much more complete our lives would be by expanding our family and opening ourselves to another being, I never realized what I was turning my back on in my quest for safety -- the joy of fully living life.
It's the fight between the rational mind who believes that hurt is the only thing that could possibly result from recklessly opening our hearts to one another, and the heart that yearns for that unequivocal connection. For the simple experience of opening ourselves to the mystery of the unknown. Of opening ourselves to Love.
It feels like a small triumph to follow heart over mind...again. To give into the irrational desire for communion in a world that likes to remind us we're alone. To allow the wisdom of intuition to trump the Fear that can rule our lives if we let it.
Why not be a little reckless if it means our heart learns to grow, like the Grinch's, three sizes each day? What else is this life for?
Stay tuned for pics of the puddy-tat. She will be with us for good -- and the shenanigans will begin -- on Friday...when I rescue her from the vet where she goes to get her important kitty surgeries tomorrow morning. Good luck, baby!//
What's For Dinner Tonight?
T does his best cooking when he's offered a challenge, even when he's not in the mood for it. I was in the mood for one of his impromptu pasta dishes, so I went to the store, picked up red pepper, asparagus, green onions, zucchini, mushrooms and tomatoes, a carton of organic cream (what can I say? The girl wants what the girl wants...) and said, well?
Even though he's exhausted, he met the challenge and got to work.
If it matters...the wine is mine. :)
Thanks, my dear! Over the top delicious as I knew it would be. Here...let me get the dishes...
Whew! Food funk averted for another night!
What inspires you this evening?
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