Friday, October 21, 2011

(barely) Contained Chaos

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. ~Joseph Campbell

Ever feel like your life takes on a life of its own?

Me, too.

Life, for me, in the past 48 hours has been a whirlwind.  I've been home only to sleep, shower and change clothes and haven't even been able to carve out the time to meditate (or blog!!!).  I woke up at 6:40am thinking I worked at 8:00 only to recall as soon as my eyes opened that I needed to be there at 7:00 today.  Phooey!

As I've written before, this is not the usual pace of my life.  In fact, I have intentionally created a lifestyle that avoids it becoming like this.  But, you know, being human and all, I am forever reminded that we aren't in control and that sometimes, just sometimes, life does take off on its own despite our grandest efforts.  C'est la vie.  Maybe the best we can do, maybe the most we can hope for when that happens is to let go and ride the wave.

I was going to say, "hang on and enjoy the ride", but since this other phrase showed up on my birthday, I'm trying it on for size.  In this context, things feeling as wild as they have, I no longer even have the energy to "hang on" so I guess the letting go part fits.  I have to say, I rather like the idea of letting go to ride the wave because it seems much more enjoyable than hanging on with the white-death-knuckle-grip and "enjoying" the ride through gritted teeth.

Though I'm not quite sure what that says about being so tired that once you let go, you fall straight off the board and into the wave...


So, when I got home from work this afternoon, I was drawn to lay in the grass on my back, in a sunbeam, and just let myself be supported by the earth.  My breath slowed as the breeze blew through the leaves of our honey locust that stubbornly refuses to act like it's Fall.  Those favorite goldfinches of mine crowded into the apple tree and sang a song that might have been annoyance (get away from my feeder, lady!) but which I took to be a happy, soothing welcoming song, instead.  Trooper was off checking out the yard, sniffing and scratching and trimming the grass from around the garden, doing what is in a dog's nature to do.  Soon, I felt calm and in tune with Nature herself and had stilled enough to even hear the crackling of the grass beneath my head where its' weight settled in.

Sometimes it's required of us, but we're not meant to run around like crazy people.  When it happens, we need to find the few surefire things that will ground us and bring us back to connect with our true nature.  Laying on the earth works for me.

What works for you?//

What's For Dinner Tonight?
I'm not really sure.  True to the busyness cycle we're in, we have plans tonight (boo!) -- albeit fun plans (yea!) -- to go to the U of M Gopher Hockey game with our friends Jon and Nik.  I'm sure there is either a restaurant in our future or at the very least, what we find at the game.  I think I've forgotten what it's like to eat at home...

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